“I can do much better in Commerce dad…why don’t you understand? It’s not a matter of your status whether I should opt for Science, Commerce or Humanities…it’s my future which I have to decide… right now.”
This is the case with most of the children passing Class X these days. When it comes to choose a stream, they are often in a dilemma. Sometimes, children are pressured by their parents to choose a stream according to their parents’ wishes, which the children don’t want. Parents often stress their child to opt for the Science stream, usually with Mathematics. This combination is too cumbersome for many children to cope up with, often resulting in either repeating the same class at the end of Class XI or poor results followed by scolding from teachers and parents.
As parents, isn’t it our moral duty to understand our children from all aspects? However, many parents follow the rat race. Each parent expects 90% or even higher from their child. Is this possible? A big NO is the prompt answer. Most of the time, they compare their child with the children of their relatives, which can result in depression among their own children.
It is natural for parents to expect good results from their children, but over expectation can lead to disasters. We often read about young boys and girls either committing suicide or running away, due to family pressure being the main reason.
They may opt for a subject pressured by their parents but cannot do justice to it. After attending classes for a new subject for some time, they may finally decide to change the subject or even the stream as they are unable to cope with the content. This results in a waste of time—when they change the subject and join the new one, two to three months would have passed, and the teacher would have already covered a lot. The poor children again face troubles.
It’s not necessary for a child to build his career in Science or Commerce only. He/she can become an entrepreneur, a model, a chef, a choreographer, a singer, a theatre artist, a news anchor, a journalist, a fashion designer, a jewelry designer, a lawyer, a stand-up artist, a painter, a player, an athlete, a make-up artist, a pilot, a content creator, a YouTuber, aviation industry…and the list is endless—besides the conventional careers as a Doctor or an Engineer only. Why don’t we think out of the box?
First, as parents, we must know the IQ and mindset of our child. Based on that, we can set expectations for our child. Not every child is a topper, or a mediocre or below-average student. We have a blend of such students in each class. We, as teachers, are very much aware of the mental level of every child we teach, which is why we design the question papers of every exam and test in such a way that all these three categories of students can attempt and secure marks. So, if a classroom can have a variety of students, then how can parents expect their child to be only a topper? They can be from the other two categories as well.
I have seen students first completing engineering or any other degree as expected by their parents’ wishes and then opting for their dream job. They open a restaurant, a food van, a shop, or they pursue careers as stage artists, stand-up artists, etc. So, if they will eventually do what they have dreamed of, why not encourage them from the beginning and save their time and energy? But yes, before planning for any unconventional job, first explore it thoroughly from scratch and only then proceed.
Parents should give their children at least some liberty to choose careers based on their own interests. This will be fruitful for their lifetime. I suggest parents and teachers support a child in choosing their path and not unnecessarily pressurize them.
I am not against parents’ expectations from their children; it’s just a suggestion to understand your child and help them reach the epitome of success. This is not possible without the blessings, love & affection, care, and proper guidance of parents. Just don’t impose your desires on your child. What you could not pursue, don’t over expect it from them.
I have witnessed many students who were victims of their parents’ over expectations. Just to quote a few anecdotes…
One of my students opted for the Science stream in Class XI because his mother forced him. She literally announced in front of him that if he did not take Science, she would stop eating. The poor boy opted for Science in Class XI and struggled for the next two years.
Another student wanted to opt for Commerce stream in Class XI, but his father was adamant about opting for Science with Mathematics because no one in his family had ever opted for Commerce or humanities. It was below dignity to choose any stream other than Science in their family. The child struggled with the stream for the next two years and was still confused about what he would do after Class XII.
I believe every child is blessed with some talent. The need of the hour is to explore it. This task can be best done by either the parent or a teacher.
We will definitely produce future leaders who will prove to be assets to mankind. Let’s join hands to build a young India with confidence, diligence, a sense of responsibility, critical thinking, and decision-making power.
Does this write-up resonate with anyone—be it a parent, teacher, or student? Feel free to share.